FOLR, continued

I can't tell if it's just because my friends are law students that I'm the friend of last resort, or whether I've always been that way. I know it's been that way for a good majority of my "friendships", but has law school exacerbated the problem?

Case in point. This evening, I got invited out to dinner, "but it has to be something quick. I have other things to do tonight." Alluding to school work or something, you might think. That's fine, you have school work, let's do something quick for dinner. As it turned out, this also involved this friend picking up at least two more people to go to dinner. Our dinner plans fell through, but the question I'm left with is, if you wanted to do something quick, why are you picking other people up (who are way out of the way, for that matter)?

The obvious answer is that "I have other things to do tonight" refers not to actual things to do, but other people to see, parties to go to, what-have-you. And you've graced me with an invitation to spend some of my time in the radiance of your presence. Gee, thanks. If I'm not really part of your plans, what are you doing inviting me out for anything? I didn't go out of my way to call you to see about dinner, you called me. You called me so that I could go out to dinner with you, and then you could go out to do other things with other people, never really making me a part of your group.

I don't need to be part of the group. I'm not asking that you invite me out to those other events, or get others to invite me to other events. But why invite me to anything? You like me, but only enough for dinner. More than that and I'm tiresome. Which, again, is ok if you feel that way, but don't invite me to dinner to be some sort of half-friend.

It's better to know I'm an outsider while at home than to see that I'm an outsider while I'm out to dinner.

friend of last resort

Hi, I'm probably at the bottom of your I-need-to-call list. I'm the person you call when you're really bored, or you really can't find someone else to do something with. You let my calls go to voicemail, you go out and party, and in your down moments, in those times when you don't have money to go out and drink, that's when you call me.

Sure, you'll come over to my house and eat my food. You don't call me to extend any sort of invitation to me; no, no, this is a one-way street. I reach out to you, and in those times of benevolence, pity, or boredom, you choose to make plans with me.

We spend time in bunches together. Your close friends go away for a few days, so you've got time to kill with me. I'm your B-list friend. I get the part for a short run, and then the budget runs out. An A-list friend becomes available and is instead cast in the role that I had.

I can't put my finger on it. It doesn't seem to be my personality, since you like me just fine when we spend time together. Is it what I like to do? Or don't like to do? I don't want to go out and drink, and therefore I'm made to be the de facto pariah?

You're still here? Don't you have your A-list friend's blog to read instead?