sex == late

Sex has a lot of "late"s about it. There is the obvious and most dangerous "Oh God, she's late." That's not what I want to write about, though.

The more interesting late is the "I know I have to go to class in 5 minutes. Let's have sex now anyway." Followed by the "Oh shit, I'm 30 minutes late. Eh, it was worth it though." This was the typical thing that happened in college. I was late to classes all the time and I was even late to a few finals. Maybe it's just the extra element of excitement in throwing other responsibilities out the window that made it worthwhile, I don't know. This type of sex lateness is something I'm sure we've all encountered at one time or another.

Then there's the guy lateness. "Shit, why did I have to masturbate this morning? I should have just jumped in the shower." I'm sure every guy out there has experienced this one (and undoubtedly some women too). You just have to get it out of the way before getting on with your day, and you can't find time for it. But you do it anyway.

There's a lot of stuff guys don't particularly like to talk about when it comes to masturbation. With the rise of the internet, we've been opened up to a whole world of sexual perversion that was never accessible before. We don't want to let our girlfriend/wives into this world. It doesn't really involve them. They can only think less of us if they know what we look at. What makes it worse is that what we look at may or may not correlate to what we actually want to have happen in our lives. We think less of ourselves for looking at porn, how can they not think less of us?

Every guy has "his" kind of porn he likes to look at. Some have several types. Mine's text. I like text, things can be as sexy as I want them to be. Disturbingly, in picturing the scenes in people's houses, I picture a friend from elementary school's house. But anyway. We amass vast quantities of porn, because when it gets old, we have to move on to something new. But we can't let go of the old. "That's a really good [movie|story|whatever], I may want to see that again some day."

But that doesn't mean that we don't realize that we have too much porn. And that we've looked at too much of it. I have amassed about 30 MB of porn text, probably more space than the complete text of the oxford english dictionary takes up. That doesn't disturb me so much. What does disturb me is when I realize I've read a 30-part story over the course of a few weeks' worth of masturbation. Or that I can recall some of the stories and exactly what goes on and in what order. Or that I can remember the first time I read the story. At least I haven't written any text myself. Yet.

In answer to your question, yes, I was late to work today.

Let's take a poll, leave a comment telling what was the worst thing you were ever late for (due to sex of one kind or another, of course). I was definitely late to my Chemistry final at CMU.