Bathroom humor

Why is it that guys find a need to spit into the urinal as they're stepping up to them? My female readership obviously wouldn't know about this habit, but it's fairly common to see guys walk up to the urinal, and as they're unzipping or stepping up, they spit into it. Sometimes they spit into it while they're pissing. Either way, what's the purpose? Every time I hear this done, I can't help but think about animals in the while that want to lick up the piss of the other competitors in the area. I guess I'm just not competitive enough to feel the need to spit into the urinal.

In the basement men's room at school, they've removed one of the urinals. It's just wall now. Maintenance actually put one of those "Wet Floor" things in front of it to ensure that no one overlooks the fact that there is no urinal and instead pisses all over the wall. This is in the law school, presumably we're smart enough to figure out that we shouldn't piss where there is no urinal. But I guess not.

The urinal that is missing is the one in the middle. There are three urinals, without dividers in between them. It's nice that the urinal is gone now, because some guys don't realize that you're never actually supposed to use the middle one anyway. Who wants to ensure that they stand next to another guy while they're both taking a leak? Apparently some guys do, but not me.

And why are guys expected to go to the bathroom immediately next to another guy? No one would ever think to make a women's room that just had toilets standing free without stalls. Women get some privacy every time they go to the bathroom, but guys don't even get a shred of it with the urinals without dividers. I'm not saying that the urinals need to have stalls around them, but the dividers make a big difference in the level of privacy that you have in the bathroom. With the dividers, I'd even say that it's ok to use the middle urinal (though some would disagree with that assessment).

It's even worse when you go to a stadium. There, you might just have a trough. A fucking trough. Now you can get splashed by someone else's piss, or have another guy elbow in next to you. Again, another indignity that women would never be expected to have to deal with.

So for any architects out there: Put in dividers!

CMU has a bathroom in the basement of Doherty Hall, one of the academic buildings, that has a men's room. On the door, after "MEN", someone scrawled a "U" in after it, so it's known as the "MENU" bathroom. The reason this bathroom has notoriety (and it's been years since I've been in there, so it might have been corrected) is that the stalls have glory holes in them and the bathroom is thus known as a place to have anonymous gay sex.

But I didn't know that my freshman year at CMU. And I'm not even sure that I knew what a glory hole was. And I happened across the "MENU" bathroom. I happened to use the bathroom without incident, but in looking back, by not fixing the bathroom, it seems like CMU opens themselves up to liability if an incident were to occur there. And of course, after I found out about the bathroom, I don't think I ever used it again.

This is probably far more than you ever wanted to read about men's rooms.