It happened gradually. So gradually I didn't notice that I had turned into one until it was too late. Now I constantly check my buddy list to make sure I don't miss a buddy signing on. I find myself having to restrain myself from IMing a person who just signed on. Obviously if someone signed on, it was to talk to me, right?
I need to put a stop to this. My buddy list grows every day. My time is being wholly consumed by IMing people. I can't read. I might miss an IM. I can't watch TV. I might miss an IM. Talk on the phone? Why do that, I can have 10 simultaneous conversations on IM. Pay attention in class? IM is much more interesting. It's interactive, you know. And it doesn't involve the reading that I haven't done.
Drugs? Who needs 'em? I get dopamine hits just hearing the IM chime. Natural drugs are cheaper, safer, and better than manufactured drugs anyway. I get hypnotized seeing the IM blinks at the bottom of my screen.
What the fuck are you doing still sitting there. Send me an IM already.
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