I have measured out my life with my employer's evaluations.

This week, instead of being at school, like a good student would be, I have taken off. I will be working this week, teaching a programming language class. My students will be government employees and employees of large corporations, primarily. That's who my employer caters to.

Though my employer really only caters to people who pony up the $2500 to attend the class. Nevermind that it's an "advanced" class. If you can come up with the $2500, you must be "advanced," right?

At the end of the week, the students are given an evaluation of all things in the course: the instructor, the course materials, the facilities, etc. Again, since they could come up with the $2500, they must be qualified to fill this out, right? The real winner of the system is the fact that for each of the questions, they get to rate you from 0-4, from "frowny face" to "smiley face". Which means that no one really knows what the evaluations mean. Some people think that 2 is good, 4 is exceptional. My employer, of course, considers everything but a 4 a failure. Our average is supposed to be as close to a 4 as possible.

But they don't tell the students that. The students are supposed to divine what the numbers mean, or guess at what the ever-descriptive "frowny face" and "smiley face" mean.

The possible disparity between what the evaluations mean to the students and my employer has always led me to believe that they aren't really telling me much. How could they be? Students use them one way, my employer uses them a different way.

Now, there is space on the form so that the students can write freeform comments. Most of the time, nothing is written. When there is a comment, usually it's along the lines of "Great job!" or "Best instructor ever!" (no joke) I have even gotten comments about my clothes. One guy in New York said that I should tie my tie so that it's longer, and two women have commented that I have nice clothes. The one's was: "Nice clothes. If you're ever single and in Baltimore...." Too bad she was eating pork rinds. All week. Before 10 A.M. If there had been anything there (there wasn't), that pretty much sealed the deal.

I really like the fact that they have the space on the form for the comments, though, because it gives context for what number a person filled in. If they give me a 2, but say "Great job!", that's a lot better than just getting the 2. At least I know what 2 meant to that person.

And let's face it, that's more feedback than law school.